Dying to Live...

You live, and then you die... so what?

This question has been playing in my mind, ever so often. It came up again this weekend. Just last weekend, a man had his 60th birthday. His family and friends loved him, so they threw him a big birthday party. They cooked all kinds of different food. One of his sons used to own a simple restaurant, so you can imagine that the food was good. His daugther, in the advertising line, got people to decorate the house. On that day, they took him out for a ride in the car, so that they could do all these things. When he reached home, lo and behold, SURPRISE!!! His heart was filled with happiness. There was much laughter in the house. He was touched at the kind gesture, and celebrated his birthday with his family and friends.

This weekend, the man's house was filled with family and friends again. Yes, there was some food. Decorations? Well... flowers. However, this time, the man was heart-broken. There was a wooden box, about 6 feet long, in his house. People were weeping and sobbing... His precious daughter, 27 years old, died in a car crash. He was touched that his family and friends came to support and comfort him, but there was much grief. Children are not supposed to die before their parents. It's not the natural order of things.

Or is it? Think again. Our days are numbered. For some, it may be 70 years, but for others, 30? or 20? Who can tell? Who knows, except God, our Creator? How will I know? This may be my last day on earth. Incidentally, I have been listening to Steven Curtis Chapmans' song, "Last Day On Earth", and the chorus goes like this:-

Oh, if this should be my last day on this earth

How then shall I live?

Oh, if this should be the last day that I have

Before I breathe the air of heaven

Let me live it with abandon to

The only thing that remains

After my last day, here on earth

What are the things that remain after my last day on earth? What is it that really matters? I ask myself these questions. What if I go to heaven, only to find out that what I have done here really didn't matter at all? I have been reading the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible, and the wisest and richest man in the world at that time said,

"Vanity of vanities, says the preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity.
What is the profit to a man in all his labor which he labors under the sun?"

--- Ecclesiastes 1:2,3

This, from a man who had all the wisdom and knowledge in the world, who had all the money in the world, houses, property, food, servants (slaves), entertainment, pleasure and women. He could have had anything he wanted. Why would a man like that speak those words? There must have been something more to life, than all those things he had.

Which brings me to the questions... What should I be chasing in life? What do I want? What makes me happy and fulfilled? What am I good at? Or more importantly, what does God want me to do? Reading through Ecclesiastes, the writer had a pretty good conclusion. He was not fatalistic in his thinking, but rather sober:

"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter. Fear God, and keep His commandments. For this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it is good, or whether evil."

--- Ecclesiastes 12:13, 14

So, it's not the things I own, achievements, or even the people that I know that is really important. At the end of my life, the important thing is to know that I have feared God, and kept His commandment. If I really fear God, I wouldn't do certain things. If I really fear God, I would listen to Him more, know what He is saying, and be obedient. Maybe I do not fear God enough, and maybe I should start to fear God more. After all, He is my 24-hours surveillance - He knows every thought I have, my motives and actions.

God is my judge, whether I do good or evil. That is not all. I do not know my last day on earth. So I do not know how much time I have left to do all the things that I should do. I do not know how much space I have for repentance if I sin. That should make me sober. That should make me seek God and listen, instead of wandering through life. In my depressive state, I once prayed to God to asked Him to end my life. How stupid, because I wasn't prepared to face Him. I want to be prepared to face Him, when my time is up, when my body lies in a brown wooden box. I want to be happy when I meet Jesus, not terrified.